The days pass, the absence is still a sting, the loss a bite...but the tidal waves have started to minimize.
Every day there is something that jumps to the forefront of my mind that will set me back - BUT having visited CLAIRE CHEW who is the modern day alchemist of pet loss - I was given tools to cope. I have a list of 10 things I need to accomplish - not just daily but over time. They include a lot of self care - meditation and MOVEMENT..I need to get myself up and moving again...get that stagnant energy moving.
The most important thing that has be alluding me has been sleep. I will awake around 3am every night and my mind is filled with Wookie. I did a search on Google and I believe that this is around the time she died (due to her rigor mortis) I believe this is her visiting me, waking me up, "Hey I'm still here - at least energetically". This stopped last night - and I had my first dream of her - dressed in a ridiculous pink and blue striped shirt cocking her head and looking at me. Is she visiting? Is this my corrupt and grieving psyche trying to manifest her...I'll take the former.
I try to find her in everything - the crystal creating a rainbow, the fan moving without being turned on, the list of her name printed out in different fonts that appeared on the dining room table a week after she had died - I will continue to try and find her in everything, everywhere.
I received the most amazing email from the VICKERS FAMILY this week. They have two young girls who have lost their beloved family dog Sammy - these girls, Amanda and Aly, have been working to understand why Sammy had to leave - frankly even as an old girl I'm struggling with understanding why Wookie had to leave me - and why dogs lives are so much shorter than ours. BUT they sent me a link FULL of really great resources and articles:
The very best part of this was the Grieving article which identified, on the nose, why I grieve:
• The loss of unconditional love
• The loss of a "protege" - like the loss of a child
• The loss of a "life witness:
• The loss of multiple relationships and routines
• The loss of a primary companion
and it gives you a great road map to help you understand why and how to help - https://psychcentral.com/lib/grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet/